Life is disappointment. When you try to do hard things, you’re going to fail a lot. You’re going to get rejected a lot. Hearing “no” sucks. You have to get used to it and learn to deal with it, but it’s always going to be unpleasant.

The thing about hearing no is that it brings closure. Closure brings clarity. If I know one door is closed, I can explore other doors, even windows. If I get that no quickly, I can move on without losing time or emotional investment. Any long term goal I am pursuing will be achievable through multiple strategies. Plan A doesn’t work? Then I’ll go to plan B. Or C. Or D. But I have something to fall back on so I can at least make progress.

Compare that to a slow yes. Until you actually get that answer, a slow yes isn’t a yes, it’s a maybe. A maybe means you’re stuck. You have an unresolved possibility that keeps you from executing plan A but also falling back on plan B. Meanwhile, you’re burning time. You’re investing your emotional energy. And after all that, it could still end up being a no, just a really slow one.

I understand why it happens. You have hope. You don’t want to lose that hope, but you will if you hear that no. The person you’re waiting doesn’t want to disappoint you. They don’t mean to string you along, but they’re doing it. They think they’ll be hurting you by saying “no. Sure, it’s a disappointment, but it liberates you as well. You can put that maybe out of your mind and focus on the next step. You need momentum, and losing that momentum to a slow yes is going to hurt you a lot more than a fast no.